Two doors, hung inches from each other,
The space between just small enough to prevent a child’s enclosure,
The wood heavy enough to silence one door slowly opening
So I can put my ear up to the door.
Deflated, my 8 year old ears can hear nothing of the therapy behind that door.
I return to climbing the steps to take a slide down a polished Victorian banister.
Category: Uncategorized
No Guru
Last weekend I went to the AWP bookfair at the Washington State Convention Center. I was inspired to force myself to write every day. ANYTHING. Being great at procrastinating, I decided to start today and do a forty day project, since commitment and denial of pleasure is the mode for this time of year.
I am not burdened by affiliation with any religion or formal practice, which is why I wanted to start this with the title, “No Guru.” I’ve had many experiences that have brought me to where I am as a person, and I typically don’t like discussing such things in a public manner these days. My thought was to share some of the things that … oh shit, I’m chickening out as I write this.
OK, in the hopes that unlike the last 500 posts I’ve started, I’ll actually post this, I’m going to pull the trigger now. Who knew that writing over 140 characters at a time about myself would be this hard?
Welcome to the New
After much dithering, and a lot of time, I’ve finally gotten my new blog up and running. I should also say, I’ve gotten the data from my old blog, quasilaur.net, merged into this blog after most of the data was seemingly lost for the ages. (Moral of the story: don’t lose contact with the person who hosts your data, don’t lose your passwords, keep your version updated.) The blog I had moved to in between quasilaur and ironheadjane used my (now inaccurate) real name. I’ve scrapped that nonsense now and with all my data in one place, you can now rest assured that I am Quasilaur, aka Iron Head Jane (a little hard headed.)
Whew. It took database mucking about and reading lots of documentation to get this site to the basic state it’s in. There’s definite work to be done, but at least the content is there. I’m late in my annual baking frenzy chronicling, and I hope to get to that ASAP.
The photo is of vegan spritz cookies I made last month to celebrate Ref 74 passing here in Washington.
See y’all again soon!
Fall Update
Where did summer go?
Seattle’s summer seemed so brief. It was only really warm a few days, and those days often turned to cool nights, meaning I wasn’t really parted from my hoodie during the entire time. It was also a very busy summer. I took a class on Unix during the summer, and spent the rest of the time interning at a local tech company doing helpdesk. It’s not that there weren’t good times. There was diving, vacation book ending both spring and fall, good friends, and tattoos! As of this past week, I have a tattoo on my shoulder that memorializes my dad (using Japanese maples) and from this past Spring, cherry blossoms on my other shoulder in rememberance of my son, Ezra.
It’s taken a couple years, but I would say at this point I’ve stepped sure-footed on a new route. I’ve successfully entered into a career change (leading to better health, if not wealth), and done a lot of personal growth from the wake of last year’s tragic circumstances.
It’s been an interesting adjustment, especially finding myself in a field that is more casual than I am accustomed to. Over the summer, I got in the practice of sewing dresses, which were far from practical for both weather and vocation. This fall I have looked in vain for appropriate workwear (or even jeans for casual fridays) and have found that most retailers are still mired in the Recession, offering clothing that at a distance, looks good, but is poorly made, and at the same price as previous years offerings with less quality. Today I may end up buying some patterns, fabric and notions, and go to town on some new clothing of my own manufacture.
Looking forward, I can say I have a mild excitement for the winter. If one can choose their own disposition, perhaps I’ll start with this one in the hopes that, come February, I will be less surly and angst-ridden than I am customarily.
As for this blog – who knows what’s coming next! I’m wanting to work on more creative ventures, but don’t ever have the time. I’m trying to keep up my running blog, especially in light of my training for the Seattle Half Marathon for my birthday. Then there’s diving, which I have neglected over the past couple years, which I should be doing more, what with the purchase of a new dry suit.
I’ll go back to something I said years ago, which I likely stole from a friend. Life is meant to be lived, not written. If I’m blogging, Tweeting, emailing, whatever – odds are I’m spending that time outside of the present moment, and definitely outside of the company of friends. The digital medium is no replacement for real life. Maybe my silence is evidence of the life I’ve successfully been living.
Unintended Rest Days: Sick Days
For the past few days I thought I was fighting allergies. I am coming to terms with the fact that today, I’m not having an allergic reaction, I’m having a head cold. I’ve got the sluggish body load, full sinuses and ear pressure and a scratch throat. It’s not the worst cold ever, but I’m feeling pretty icky. This article in Runner’s World talks about whether or not you should run when you feel sick. The gist that I get, is that if it’s a illness above the neck, you’re probably generally fine to run your normal runs, but if it’s below the neck, to take three days off. There is also mention that some illnesses, like sinus infections, can lead to worse illnesses, and what I gather, taking time off when you’re sick might not be a bad thing.
It’s just that I already have slacked off due to my two races, two weekends in a row!
I, however, prefer getting better to getting sicker, and I have a big weekend of fun (a friend coming in from out of town, possible hiking, definite BBQ’ing) and am starting classes (and maybe even an internship) soon.
It’s hard not to feel the pressure to run, even though I feel dragged down. How do you cope with sick days and exercise?
