Goodbye, Babeland

Babeland, I used to think you were so cool.

For those of you just joining this realm of sex-positive reality, let me give you a bit of history. Toys in Babeland, a feminist sex toy store that opened in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle in the early 1990’s, grew to a catalog an then online business. It inspired many feminist sex toy stores around the nation, offering sex-positive resources and information, along with classes. I worked briefly as a sex educator here at the Seattle store, but the times were starting to change, and so Toys in Babeland became Babeland, and their funky, black and red color scheme changed to the retro ’80’s CMYK. The funky, locally designed window displays (which were hugely popular, and neighborhood-y) were replaced with corporate slick design. Then came the Babeland branded crap — t-shirts, over-priced grocery sack, water, massage oil and bath products. The friendly faces I worked with have all but disappeared in the 2 yrs since I walked through the doors. Even more upsetting, I am no longer greeted when I enter the door.

What’s upsetting about this is that they used to greet EVERYONE. Welcome, mingle, ask if you needed help, and offer assistance and advice, usually with care and enthusiasm towards education. No one barely gets eye contact, and sometimes help is impossible to find. I noticed during the last time I breezed in that the stock of books was significantly decreased, the amount of Babeland brand merchandise was increased, the “SM forest” which used to have a formidable stock was dwindled to near useless, and added (much to my sex-positive and feminist dismay) was PLASTIC PENIS COVERED STRAWS. That’s right, the kind you’d find in Spencer’s.

I asked the girl at the counter, “what’s up? What happened?” She explained they had moved some stock to the back because they were replacing the carpet. I then asked what was up with the stock, I noted the change, and she immediately got on the defensive: she, it turns out, was the new buyer. She stated they were moving some things out. I asked if this was a corporate decision, and all she could say was something to the effect that this had nothing to do with the change in buyers.

I did not feel that I or my dollars were welcomed in the store. I found it hard to distinguish Babeland from the flourescent lighted adult store “Castle” that is located across the street from my house. Sure, it had that bit of alternative-sexuality-as-a-brand going on, but I felt like I had walked into the Martha Stewart or Oprah of sexuality — if there’s a story in a magazine on the Rabbit Habit, there’s a name-check of Babeland, and Babeland is the brand name for the lifestyle they’re selling.

I’m disappointed and rather disgusted. I wasn’t happy when I parted w/ Babeland. It was largely a choice of a new job in my field that severed my relationship with them, but I’d also witnessed 3 managers in 3 months, a disgruntled staff (some who had been around for a number of years) and a rather ridiculous money-handling and sales-person training and standards (which was very different than my corporate experience of 9 or so years.) There was a lack of support in fostering long term employee happiness, cultivating skills and thereby, influencing low-turnover (and shrink). After my brief time there, I can safely say that if I had to work in retail again, for whatever reason, I’d choose Starbucks or Whole Foods Market, with all their problems and ethical issues combined. Maybe that’s why those companies are on the Fortune 100 Best Places to Work.

Despite getting a discount at Babeland (I’m eligible at least for my KEXP membership), I think I will take my business elsewhere. I’m not buying a brand, a lifestyle or an image. Sometimes, I’m just looking for a feminist book that I can’t find on the shelves of another book store. Sometimes I’m looking for a bit more.

It’s kind of sad. Actually, it kind of makes me angry — but poor customer service will do that to a person.

Sew

Yesterday I bought a sewing machine. It’s a Brother XL 2600. It was $87 and change from Overstock.com. I simply can’t wait to start sewing.

The reviews for this machine are that it’s a great starter, but not a workhorse. It might not last me two years. This is fine by me, cos I’m just exploring my sewing possibilities right now. $87 on a sewing machine means if I get two wearable shirts, or a wearable shirt and skirt out of it, it’s paid for itself. If I love sewing after a year, I’ll consider upgrading.

I’m grateful that my mother had me by her side while I was growing up, so I could watch her cut patterns, alter patterns, and sew by machine and by hand. I helped her wind bobbins and even learned to sew on her old metal Singer (which finally died last year after over 30 years of use.) My mom clothed herself, my dad and me, and did countless projects on that machine, including quilts, pot holders, curtains, suits, dresses, shirts, shorts, skirts, banners and costumes. The machine was heavy, metal and she could take it apart and fix it. None of this computer bullshit, and no automatic whatevers (well, the bobbin winder was kind of automatic.)

I think finding a workhorse like that would be hard. I mean, the only plastic parts were a bit on the front cover and the plastic bottom.

I’m excited. Now to find some plus-sized patterns that don’t suck. 🙂

What I Learned from Today’s Shopping

Shopping was an ordeal tonight, and frankly, I wasn’t in the mood. Here’s what I learned:

1. Macy’s is now carrying Made In USA tagged clothing, in hip styles (did I just write “hip”?), in their Women’s department. Cool.
2. Do not go shopping during possibly hormonal times-o’-the-month.
3. Today is not the day to finally give in and realize that yes, indeed, according the the measurements I have, that I’ve known for awhile now, I do actually need to pick a size larger in pants. Yes, I actually have lost weight and have gone down a size, but that just means I was wearing 2 sizes too small. This also doesn’t mean that some things in a smaller size don’t fit, it just means that it really, truly is just a number. I need to go w/ what looks good, and forget that number stuff.
4. Numbers?! Lane Bryant has started a proprietary sizing for their jeans. They require a sales person’s measuring of you, and the numbers don’t correspond to any of the traditional sizing methods. Even better, the styles of jeans can have a different number size for you. And of course, this means, hypothetically, that a size 18 person will wear their size 4. Now, I understand the 1, 2, 3 standing for XL, XXL and XXXL respectively. It doesn’t even correspond to that. I’d really like to understand this at some point.
5. Thanks to a $50 coupon, I bought a bunch of accesory crap. No doubt, Made in China. See #2 for the possible reason for this silly splurge.

Unrelated to today’s shopping, but related to last week’s browsing in neighborhood, I was delighted to find out that Trendy Wendy in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle sells plus size clothing made in America.

And now, to sort stuff and hope to get rid of my tension headache.

96 degrees, and still consuming!

This blog is becoming all consumption, all the time, huh? I’m running with a theme, so I hope that my two (maybe three) readers will bear with me.

It’s hot in Seattle today. It’s NYC hot. It’s Chicago hot. It’s so-not-the-Pacific-Northwest hot. My wardrobe is not equipped for this hot. Neither is our apartment. Or our willingness to cook at home. Or even toss a salad at home, at this point.

Before Jon and I leave the house to consume foods made in some nice, air conditioned restaurant, and before I go look for accessories that will make this weather more bearable, I’ll leave you with my clever thoughts on shopping as I was driving home.

The common advice to going grocery shopping is to make a list, and never go grocery shopping hungry. This will avoid buying crap food, and make sure you stick to a budget, and stick to those things you really need, and are really healthy for you. My old grocery shopping style was “go in, see what looks good.” That ended with me consuming a lot of horrible prep-foods, spending lots of cash, and eating poorly. I’ve gotten better at that, and life is pretty good now.

My clothes/accesories/stuff shopping style is very much the “go in, see what looks good.” I’ve gotten better at not impulse buying, but my decision making process could use some fine tuning. It occured to me today that maybe I should make a shopping list for all this other stuff I consume.

Example:

eyeshadow (two colors, pink and purple, not to shiney)
lip color (medium tone, brown base)
skirt (black, A line or similar, conservative style, medium length)
shampoo (color conserving, no horrific scent)
3 work shirts (short sleeved, buttons optional, easy laundering ,fun colors)
cropped pants (black and khaki, business wear)
sunscreen

Budget for all these things: $175

Now that’s not a real list, but it’s what I’m proposing to myself for my next round of shop-o-rama. Instead of hoping that I can get what I want for a low price, and accepting the price I pay for whatever I choose, going in with a budget and a mission, and not buying what’s not on the list.

And NOT going shopping when I’m trying to just satiate an emotional need.

So with that, as I sweat through my clothing … I’m going to eat and shop.

Keep cool out there!

This Week in Consumption

My friend Kalki, who lives in the NYC area, was giving away some beauty products and offering them to whoever wanted them. Having some of my own half-used beauty products laying around the house, I offered a swap instead of a one way send. What I ended up getting was Bed Head Brunette Goddess shampoo and conditioner (smelling strongly of fake brown sugar) and Kiehl’s Herbal Toner with Mixed Berries and Extracts and Ultra Facial Moisturizer (she also sent me a grab bag of other things). In return, I plan on sending her some left over Aveda Tourmaline Charged cleanser and face cream – both seem to be too heavy for my skin.

Trading left-over products seems a lot more eco-friendly than sending them to the trash pile. However, I should likely underline the word seems.

From a recent New York Times article Buying into the Green Movement:

It’s as though the millions of people whom environmentalists have successfully prodded to be concerned about climate change are experiencing a SnackWell’s moment: confronted with a box of fat-free devil’s food chocolate cookies, which seem deliciously guilt-free, they consume the entire box, avoiding any fats but loading up on calories.

My “Thinking Green” makes me feel good — as does many other forms of consumption. I can feel guilty about one thing, and then consume another, and feel like I’ve done something good. I think that the analogy to SnackWell’s is a particularly great one, and it reminds me of Michael Pollan’s essay,
Unhappy Meals
:

Consider what happened immediately after the 1977 “Dietary Goals” — McGovern’s masterpiece of politico-nutritionist compromise. In the wake of the panel’s recommendation that we cut down on saturated fat, a recommendation seconded by the 1982 National Academy report on cancer, Americans did indeed change their diets, endeavoring for a quarter-century to do what they had been told. Well, kind of. The industrial food supply was promptly reformulated to reflect the official advice, giving us low-fat pork, low-fat Snackwell’s and all the low-fat pasta and high-fructose (yet low-fat!) corn syrup we could consume. Which turned out to be quite a lot. Oddly, America got really fat on its new low-fat diet — indeed, many date the current obesity and diabetes epidemic to the late 1970s, when Americans began binging on carbohydrates, ostensibly as a way to avoid the evils of fat.

I love that SnackWells is name-checked in these two articles published 6 months apart. Even better, it’s used to illustrate our misguided consumption of stuff. The 20th Century brought us a larger food supply, and cheaper crap for us to fill our houses and spend our hard earned dollars on. All of it is fueled by this ridiculous belief that we have a limitless supply of energy – in whatever form it takes, from energy as fuel for our cars and machines, to keep this stuff easily within our grasp and energy as food, making us and our children wonderfully fat. We can’t STOP consuming and no group making money today really wants us to STOP consuming as much as we do. Of course, I’m happy to be proven wrong on that declaration.

I can’t help but think about a family trip to Disney World a few years ago, when we sat in an air conditioned theatre and engaged in some thought-provoking edu-tainment Ellen’s Energy Adventure in Epcot. Ellen Degeneres and Bill Nye (the Science Guy) bring up important points about our waning energy supply. Never fear, though, because in the end, we still have an inexhaustable amount of brain power to think of a solution to the energy crisis.

That is, except when you and everyone else with the brain power to figure a solution haven’t eaten in days, and are away from any clean source of drinking water. (The brain seems to work better when well rested, fed and watered.)

I could go on with regards to this weeks thoughts on consumption, but currently, I have an aching belly from nibbling while baking Lavender Shortbread Cookies and making German Potato Salad for the Fourth. I have, indeed, over-consumed, and the day isn’t even done yet.

Have a happy and safe Independence Day. Make a point to exercise a civil liberty today.