Category: Fitness and Diet

Spring Cleaning

Posted on Posted in Arts and Crafts, Fitness and DietTagged , ,

What is it about Spring that has us longing to push out the cruft and start anew? Is it something we learn culturally, or a part of the rhythm of the world?

I hardly know the answer, but what I do know is that I’ve not been baking as much as I had been (which is probably a good thing), and I’ve got that longing to DO something.

Home:

I finally, after years of dithering, put up items for sale on Ebay. I’ve had an Ebay pile collecting for at least six months, if not longer. So far, I’ve sold two things, and perhaps grossly underpriced another item which is now being bid on for a low price (about $90 less than the starting price of the same item in another auction.) Truly, another man’s trash or clutter is another man’s treasure. It astounds me how people are piling on to this one item, which is made of rip-stop nylon, and not likely to increase in character or beauty over the years, yet another item of quality manufacture, made of leather and a classic design, goes unnoticed.

Body:

As I’ve written before, I’ve been working my ass off at the gym, and have not been losing weight. My trainer finally mentioned that she would be doing my weight/measurements next week, and I told her that it wouldn’t do any good because there was no measurable change likely. She said that it was likely the type of food I’m eating, especially since I’ve been struggling with constant hunger. This week I’ve been challenging myself to truly keep tabs on every thing I eat, while also trying to get in 30% of my daily calories in protein. This is hard. This is VERY hard. You see, I have tended to get about 15% of my daily calories in protein, due to the fact that I don’t eat beans often, I don’t eat nuts (barely ever), and I do eat some meat, but I honestly want to scale back on animal products.

Instead of the Weight Watchers (which I no longer follow) approved “free” snack of fruit, I’ve been drinking a rather tasteless protein shake made with vegan protein powder and almond milk. The amazing thing this switch has done for me is that it makes me less ravenous, and I typically now feel sated for longer (and even guiltily so!) and look at my number for the day, and see that I’ve actually eaten (or over eaten) less than my previous trend.

Mind:

I’m hoping to boost my creative output, but I’m not sure where to go with it. After NorWesCon, I was inspired to work on fan art, but found after gripping a trusty pencil for the first time in ages that I actually have some pretty mean carpal tunnel. It’s not terrible, but it’s noticeable after awhile as my fingers and thumb go numb and cold. This is on top of TOS (thoracic outlet syndrome) which causes the other fingers in my right hand to similarly go numb when my shoulders hunch a particular way.

I need to develop a practice, as well as some organization. I’m feeling very scattered, which makes me wonder if I am ADD after all (I was diagnosed as kid, but never felt it was so severe that I needed medication.) I think I just need to find some adaptive practices. Any artists have recommendations on how to start?

…Anyhow, that’s what I’m up to these days. I look forward to the summer coming soon, as that I’ve had quite enough of this rainy cool weather. It’s not even Junuary yet.

Fit Fat Fit

Posted on Posted in Fitness and DietTagged , , , , 2 Comments

I’m pretty sure that I fall into that pesky category of fit and fat. While admittedly, I’m on the small side of large, I’m in that annoying grey area where I can sometimes squeeze into the highest number in the Misses category, and the second lowest size of Plus. I’m growing increasingly skeptical that my Mirena IUD is inhibiting my lasting weight loss, either that, or something with the Weight Watchers program (which has changed since I had my resounding success a few years back) has not been helping.

I have been hovering at the same weight for about a year now. What’s different between now and last year is that I go to the gym at least three times a week, and I’m working with a personal trainer. My trusty scale, which calculates my body fat percentage, says that realistically, if I maintain my current muscle mass, I only have to lose 40 lbs of body fat to be just above the minimum body fat percentage for an athlete. (To get to the top of the healthy BMI, I would have to lose 60-65 lbs.)

I realized that I do not do well when I’m not tracking my food intake, and after becoming so frustrated with the newest iteration of Weight Watchers (360), I decided to try My Fitness Pal. It’s free, works with mobile devices, and syncs with my Fitbit Ultra to help calculate what my actual food intake should be with relation to my exercise level. I’m mostly excited about this right now (consider it NRE) because I’ve logged in for two weeks straight, and have tracked reliably, which is more than I can say about WW in the past year. I’ve also realized that along with possible hormonal impacts to my weightloss, I wasn’t eating enough on Weight Watchers. I thought of myself as sedentary, but it turns out that a mother of a toddler in a highly walkable neighborhood/city is HARDLY sedentary.

Fitbit One
Fitbit One
I just upgraded my Fitbit to the Fitbit One , which has the added plus of syncing with my mobile device. I justify that this will come in handy during my vacation.

This has been an educational two weeks. I realized that I’m much more active than I gave myself credit for, and I’ve not felt deprived since I’ve been able to have a daily adjusted food intake based on my actual activity level. I have only lost about two pounds so far, and now it’s about seeing if I can lose more than that, which I have been unable to do with Weight Watchers this past year.

The best part of this experiment? I’m not gaining weight, and I’m not forcing myself to eat a piece of fruit when what I really want is a slice of cheese.

Interlude (When I’m not making delicious food.)

Posted on Posted in Deliberate Consumption, Fitness and DietTagged ,

Uncle Bazel said to me, “Why you so fat?” I was eleven years old and at the yearly family reunion in the Appalachian foothills. He was of my grandparents’ generation, and this was the first time I really remember anyone in my family pointing out my size, or so pointedly, my failure. I was teased most of my childhood and adolescence by peers for being overweight. I have never felt comfortable in my own skin for any great length of time. I achieved my great weight loss after years on Weight Watchers, stoked by a personal tragedy, and literally running from my anxiety. I noticed that as I got smaller, the models in magazines got larger. It was bizarre, sitting in the bathtub, actively wondering if I was experiencing body dysmorphia, or if the fashion magazines had finally started hiring slightly larger models.

It’s still bizarre, because though I’m intellectually certain that the fashion industry hasn’t started using models above a size 2 in their magazines, I still remember that moment with a hint of doubt. Maybe they’re a size 6?

I want to print out a picture of one of the Domino Dollhouse models in lingerie for inspiration. I’ve been fighting, trying to lose weight for a year post-pregnancy, and letting myself feel pretty horrible. I realized that what I find beautiful and sexy in other women, regardless of size, is their chutzpah. It’s hard being a woman, regardless of size, but I truly want to high-five every large woman I see working and sweating in a gym, running down the street in athletic gear, or rocking leopard print leggings, short skirt, and sparkly bustier.

My smallest, stable weight of my life was 155 lbs. That was 2010, and I was running regularly, and by the end of the year, completed my first half marathon, running 13.1 miles in roughly 2 hours and 15 minutes. I wanted to lose another 10 lbs, at least. Twenty pounds would get me to the middle of the recommended BMI. You could see the sinews in my neck, my chin was sharp, my collarbones were defined and my ribs could be seen on occasion. I had loose skin from years of being much heavier, and I felt, still, like I was too big. The twist, though that while my internal dialog was still hateful, the outside world was more welcoming. Athletic people chatted with me more, people were more open with me, and attractive people treated me like a peer in a way I had never experienced before. Sometimes I wanted to tell them, “You know, I’ve really been fat most my life, are you sure you want to still talk to me?” I felt like an imposter.

Pregnancy made me have to lose the super-tight control I had over my eating, and daily pain towards the last part of my pregnancy kept me from even walking the usual distances I was accustomed.

I go to the gym three times a week. I don’t run much any more, and I miss it, but I just don’t have the time to do it during day light hours. I’m stronger, and I think I’m more physically stable than I was right after I gave birth, but I’m still 50 lbs from my “goal weight.” If I look at the fat % on my scale, I’m realistically 40 lbs away from what my weight should be at my current fitness level. It still puts me above my BMI (which is bullshit, I know, but some metrics are just burned into my head.

Lovey Tee in Purple - Domino Dollhouse
Lovey Tee in Purple – Domino Dollhouse
I went shopping this past weekend and finally bought some clothing that fit me, and looked good. Some of it was even a bit daring, in that “LOOK AT ME” kind of way. I’ve been waiting and working hard to become that magical person that can be sustained by smaller amounts of food and abstinence from all delicious fats and sugars, meanwhile punishing myself with an ill-fitting wardrobe, hoping I’d fit into my old clothes if I just worked hard enough. I’m hoping, now, that if I stop punishing myself, that maybe everything else will fall into place. I don’t know. I have come to the conclusion that maybe it’s not just me, but my Mirena BC that’s also impacting my weight loss. At any rate, instead of finding thinspiration in an anorexic model, instead I want to look at my beautiful, voluptuous kindred, some of which are larger than me, who have said (at least with their well-fashioned hips), “Today, this is me, this is my size, and I look fantastic.” I can’t wake up and be a size 8 for the day, but I can wake up and feel good about the size I am while trying to figure out how to get to the size I want to be. Right?

End of the Week

Posted on Posted in Fitness and Diet, MotherhoodTagged , , , 1 Comment

Today ended my challenge to myself to do 10 minutes of a beginner workout for five days. Tomorrow is my Weight Watcher weigh-in, and I don’t expect any weightloss. This is because I’ve had a rough week with eating. Today was the worst. Let me tell you about it.

I’m new at being a mom. My kid is just over 2 months old, and days can vary from him being low-maintenance to needing extra love and attention (and constant guessing as to why he’s screaming.) Today was the latter. I was already tired from poor sleep last night, and by midday, when THINGS started needing to get done (washing bottles, making formula), he wouldn’t even settle in the Moby on my chest. Finally, as I was prepping for a feeding, the Girl Scout cookies I purchased the other day says, EAT ME. Samoas. My weakness.

So I ate 5.

This wasn’t terrible. What capped it off was when, after my husband got home, he asked me to check if a new gadget was working in the basement entertainment center. I go down, and a YEAR OLD BOX of Lemonheads was sitting there. Open. And I ate about half of what was left in the giant box. The giant, YEAR OLD box.

Then I ate a Sumo citrus upstairs, and realized I really should have skipped the Lemonheads and eaten the Sumo, which would have been 1) Free on the Weight Watchers plan and 2) provided the tart sweetness that the Lemonheads provided.

I guess, with a week that feels like a food failure, it’s not a total loss if I came away learning something. Next week, I’m going to try to eat lean protein and fruit instead of refined carbs, which I’ve grown addicted to (obvs. with the Lemonheads.) Also, I know the key to my success is exercise, and this week I proved I can make a plan and stick to it, I just have to start small and work my way up.

The other key is working on the emotional stuff, which is making sure I have the care I need, and making sure I have childcare covered so I can take care of the things I need to take care of (or go back to work.) But that’s another post…

Four for Four

Posted on Posted in Fitness and Diet, MotherhoodTagged ,

I didn’t post yesterday because I almost didn’t make yesterday’s goal of doing the 10 minute video. However, I realized before bed that one of the videos was stretching. 10 minutes of stretching? Before bed? Great idea.

So, I fulfilled my commitment and did the 10 minute exercise AND got a stretch in before bed. Score!

That left the lower body 10 minute video for today. Unfortunately, I totally gorged myself on Puerto Rican food (and barbecue earlier today.) Food is my vice, for sure. The thing is, when I was active, I started craving things less, or more in moderation. Exercise is the key.

I’ve also developed a sugar habit. I’m working on breaking that, as in, I’m thinking about it strongly. 🙂 It’s a start. I’m contemplating the change, which is a step to recovery!

This leaves tomorrow. It turns out 10 minutes is easy to do when you have a video that starts at a low fitness level. I finish thinking, “That was too easy!”, but it’s the stepping stone. Not to sound like a broken record, but affirmation is important.

I’m looking forward to telling my WeightWatchers leader about my challenge to myself. Even if I didn’t make my food eating goal this week, I will likely make my exercise goal, and that’s something.