Happy New Year!

First and foremost, I’d like to extend my well wishes to all the people heading out to BurningMan this year. I wish I could go, even though I’m rather skeptical about how much fun one can have in a now huge, manufactured community. When you pretty much HAVE to bring a wheeled device to get you around because it’s so big, it just starts to seem too much.

After a few BurningMan experiences, and living on a school schedule a majority of my life, it very much seems to be like approaching a New Year. I hope this year is a good one, filled with awesome specticals, joys and ecstatic moments. Be safe out there.

I will be spending this next week the same as I have the past year — admitting patient after patient (I’ve now admitted about 100 patients in 8 mo), getting to know them and hoping to help them move on with their criminal charges. Yay mental health!

I suppose it could be almost like BurningMan — crap food, drugs (medications), crazy people running around, making noise, saying weird shit and more than 2 people who would probably try to torch something if they only had incindiary devices. And then there’s the patients! (yuk yuk)

Have a good one, peoples. And light something on fire for me.

Culture of Gathering

Here’s some random thoughts I’ve strung together lately.

I first went to BurningMan in 1999. I was coming from Chicago, and had newly attached myself to a portion of the subculture that the festival exemplifies. I went there with almost buzz-cut blue hair and got there by way of misadventure (it’s really another story altogether.) The whole experience was awe-inspiring, harrowing and dramatic. I was 21 years old, had only been away from the insulation of growing up in suburban Cincinatti for two years, and was ready for a mind-fuck. To this day, what I remember the most fondly of the BurningMan experience are things that I have since identified in our rather pedestrian or banal culture. I have started to come to the conclusion that BurningMan is really not that special an event, but as with most things in human society through the ages, is merely a carbon copy of our deep, collective unconscious that desires ritual, ecstasy and communion on a sublime level.

Our world has been sterilized, homogenized and legitamized for our protection. It is in branding we trust, and when some stop trusting the brands of giant corporations, the trust transitions to non-branding, which becomes a brand in itself. This really isn’t much of a modern phenomenon, but just the current incarnation of the human need for juxtaposition to impart meaning.

Human beings are curious creatures. We cluster together creating urban centers, we huddle for warmth, we gather on specific days for feasts and fasts, we build great monuments to our inspirations, we gather in great halls that inspire reverence, awe and legitamacy, we wear symbols, badges, uniforms to let the world know who we are. We do it all without having to think about it. And only on occasion does anyone really sit and ponder why we do it.
***
I recently read the WONDERFUL book, The Devil in the White City. It presents in GREAT detail the Columbian Exhibition (Chicago Worlds Fair) of the late 1800’s, the architects who built it (and a large portion of the great architecture of the time) and the serial killer who dwelled nearby. The book claims that the spectacle that was the Columbian Exhibition was one of the things that inspired Walt Disney’s Magic Kingdom. Indeed, when reading how the Worlds Fair came together in a flurry of sights, sounds and smells of the far-flung reaches of the world combined with the excitement of new technologies and thrills, it’s not hard for me to bring Disney World and Disneyland to mind. People flocked from all over the US (and the world) during an economic depression to see and experience it. It became a community of revelrie that was pristine in comparison to the modern urban environment. It was all the optimism of what a city and society could be.

And at the very end, the architects sat back and wondered what to do once the gates closed and the Fair was closed forever. The truth that eventually, it would fall to ruin didn’t set well, and the awesomeness of the experience was something that was supposed to be finite. Some of the architects sentiments were to burn it instead of letting it to become a ruin. Alas, without their hand, Fate took care of it herself.
***
My husband and I went to Disney World in Orlando, FL last year. It was the first time I had been there since I was a child in 1985. It had been 2 yrs since I had last been to BurningMan, and I was stunned with the similarities between my BurningMan experience and my Disney World experience. They are both idealized versions of our world, and thrust the participant into an experience that is withdrawn from the modern world, allowing a sense of freedom, security and pleasure within its confines. I think that what REALLY drew the comparison for me was at dusk in the Magic Kingdom, as people with funny hats and blinky lights crowded around together at the best viewing points for a fireworks extravaganza, complete with mildly thumping electronic music and laser light, the world around becoming magical and twinkling.

What is BurningMan but a carnival? What is BurningMan but an exposition of our hopes and dreams laid out for all who will be present to experience? It’s a festival showcasing the same basic nature that some of in society can’t help but market and attempt a profit. At the end, it all disappears through a coordination of fire and packing up the rest. It is over, like a dream, and the participants attempt a transition back to the banal.
***
Last night we went to Golden Gardens to celebrate our friend’s birthday. We had never been there before, and it turns out to be a sandy beach on the northwest part of the city. People were gathered all over the place, barbecuing and celebrating other birthdays, or just soaking up the sun. I haven’t been on a coastal beach since I was a kid, so I was amazed at the gathering of people around fire, communing with each other, and sharing in feast. I started thinking about the story of the beginning of BurningMan, with Larry Harvey just hanging out and burning a man in effigy on a California beach, and people gathering around making it into an annual event. As I was standing on the beach, it became obvious to me how it all happened .

Humans just can’t help it. The way I see it, about all ritualistic/religious behavior calls to a basic human need that some people feel uncomfortable scrutinizing. I think that sometimes it causes that nasty cognative dissonance that gives birth to the paradigm shift. I consider it an essentially terrifying experience –take a comfort zone of fundamentally believed in vehicle for ecstatic revelrie (ie. specific denomination or counter-culture ideal) and see it as being no less special or different from any other mode, including those one is directly opposed to, and watch for the fireworks. I think this is why many people focus so much on difference instead of similarity. The possibility of acknowledging that we’re just as loony as anyone else in our beliefs is too much to bear.

But then there are a few like me that find cognative dissonance is the best thing about being alive.

Sacred Food

I’m in the process of being converted.

I don’t think that many people think of food as a religion in itself, but it’s not uncommon for people to use descriptive words like, divine and heavenly to describe their tastey food. Good food seems to inspire ecstasy in some people, and 20th century pop-psychology taught us that many people use food to satiate our desires for love and sexual fulfillment. The history of world religion shows us that all over the world, all through the ages, feasts (often including specific foods) are important sacraments. One of my professors in Religious Studies at DePaul (Dr. Gitomer) cleverly drew the students’ attention to the American celebration of national holidays through gathering around a pit of fire, roasting flesh on the grill, and sharing it as a meal with their friends and family. As many secularized events of modern times, it refers back to century and sometimes millenia old traditions that once had sacred meaning. Whether it’s a part of the collective unconscious or the fact that rituals just seem to happen spontaneously through the repeated behavior, it doesn’t really matter. As my husband has tried to point out to me, every day things such as sitting down to a meal can be a sacred experience.

And in my opinion, cooking is really a form of magick. Now, I know that modern science would call cooking a form of chemistry, and it is, but chemistry is also magick. I don’t understand all that goes on chemically with a port wine reduction, an oil, sugar, vinegar salad dressing or a devil’s food cake. I just know that the application of heat or agitation is applied, it changes it’s consistency and texture, sometimes morphing from a liquid to a solid. It’s magick, I tell you! Rising bread, oh man, that’s magick. Culturing milk that ends up with it not spoiling as quickly, magick! Marinading a big hunk of meat in vinegar, juice and lots of salt and a week later, it still not spoiling, magick! Sure, you can tell me that acetic acid and salt inhibit bacterial growth or that probiotic cultures inhibit harmful bacteria, but all those are things you can tell me that I can’t actually see or experience. I just know it works.

I’m in the process of being converted. There’s something sacred about buying food stuffs from small suppliers, getting fresh, in season ingredients, being assured that the people selling us ingredients for our food have pride, care and concern for the food and the land it comes from. It’s sort of a care and attention that makes cultivating an art. The same care and attention that makes cooking an art. So you’ve got art in the process of making a sacred experience. Add to that a sacred experience that is meant to be shared. There you have communion (as my husband has also pointed out.)

I’m loathe to elevate a meal, such as dinner, to the equivalency of a devoted Catholic attending church on a regular basis, but the attention to detail and the emphasis on ethically grown and produced foods along with home cooking (and hopefully only the very slightest convenience food used) make a better meal. When food is mass-produced, and meant to appeal to as many people as possible, the things that go by the wayside are flavor, freshness, quality of ingredients and the unique variance that home cooked meals provide. Homemade pasta sauce is perhaps one of the singularly most amazing things. I thought that premium jars of pasta sauce (small jar, $8) could at least equal my husband’s sauce, but it is not so!

I recently had a revelatory experience with chocolate cake. It was not a simple recipe, and took the better part of a lazy afternoon to make, but the outcome was delightful, decadent and divine ;). Boxed cake has a lot of things going for it. Just add 2-3 ingredients to the packet(s) of mix, blend it all together, pour in a pan and bake, and you have cake. I made devil’s food cake, 100% from scratch, put in two round cake pans, mixed up an orange buttercream frosting and finally, a dark chocolate orange glaze. What ended up was a cake that looked like something from a dessert or chocolate shop. It was the first cake I had made FROM SCRATCH in my entire adult life. People cheered. It was an incredible experience.

And one I couldn’t have had if I had gone with a box and jar of pre-made frosting.

And the plus side – I got to use real sugar, real (organic) butter, and real (organic) sour cream. No manufactured preservatives, artificial colors, flavors, or partially hydrogenated this-or-that.

It was hard work, but worth it. And it demanded sharing, which is a sacred thing unto itself.

I noticed on the TV at the gym the other day how nearly 90% of the advertising was for convenience foods that carried the message that cooking is too hard or too time consuming. I think that among TV’s many evils (there are some good things, but it’s mostly evil) is its persuasive power to convince us that we’re too poor and too busy, not skilled enough, not pretty enough, and ultimately that we are not happy enough, and that we need to buy their products to cure this manufactured deficiency.

Modernity has sterilized the essence of our humanity. We have become so removed from the food chain, and from using our own hands and bodies to shape our reality that we have become weak and complacent. We have become dulled to the magick (or essential spirituality) that surrounds us. We have become so disconnected from the things that we depend on, and accept the pre-formatted information that we’re given that we no longer seek our own conclusions. We’re even taught by both secular and religious sources that we’re not supposed to seek to know outside of whats delivered to us because it’s either too dangerous, too difficult or too damning.

And all that being said. Isn’t it time for lunch?

Healthy Recipe. Yum food.

Lemony Frenchy Dressing

1/2 cup lemon juice
1 tablespoon sugar
4 teaspoon paprika
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon dry mustard
1 pinch cayenne pepper
1 dash Cock (Sriracha?) Sauce (other hot sauce might be OK)
3/4 cup Light Olive Oil

Put all ingredients in a shakable container. Shake it up. Throw it in a blender, blend until it is creamy smooth. Maybe a couple of minutes. Stick a clean utensil in to get a small amount to taste. Taste it. Add additional ingredients as you see fit. Pour mixture into decorative container. Chill. Serve. Yum. (EDIT- Jon noted that all the recipes for emulsions recommend putting everything but the oil together, and THEN putting it in the blender and while blending THEN add the oil… slowly. Truly, it’s all the same to me, and I’m a lazy girl 😉

EDIT- I guess I should share also what this was on top of. Mixed greens/herb salad (organic, from a salad mix), tuna (purchased in can from farmers market), capers, olives, sun dried tomatos and chopped onion (lots of it, can’t help but think of my former roommate Pixelene). Quite delicious all around!! Of course, I couldn’t have made it w/o Jon’s help. He’s the maestro of the dinner.