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Preparing for Pride

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Next month is June, which means that Pride and all the celebratory festivities that come with it, are coming fast. This year, the Seattle Pride parade and festivities have been moved from the Capitol Hill neighborhood (the center of Seattle’s gay community) to downtown and ultimately, Seattle Center. This means a lot more visibility for the parade (and the issues accompanying the parade), and I suspect more protestors given that the festivities will be on less traditionally friendly teritory.

It’s great to think that this will enhance visibility. Seattle is a pretty small town, after all. It’s not the size of Chicago, where I went to many a parade. As liberal as the Left Coast might be, the small-townishness is pretty evident, and the liberal vs. not is a bit more apparent. Maybe this is because in Chicago, the parade (and the neighborhood the parade is in) is focused on the young, beautiful gay boys and their loud stereotypical music hanging out at their lush and loud stereotypical bars/clubs. I’m not saying this isn’t great, but it smacks of a bit of out-and-proud counter-cultureness that taunts the urbane sensibilities of both the cosmopolitan and blue collar Democratic Chicagoan. The colors and attitude of Chicago Pride scream every color of the rainbow in revelrie in honor of the single, available, virile, hunky 20-something gay man. This is not to say that other aspects of the LGBTQ community aren’t there, but the vibe very much focuses on the former.

Last year I wandered out of my house with a couple of friends to take part in Seattle’s festivities. The whole thing was much less a revelrie in the young, virile gay man, but more a revelrie in the kinky (straight and queer), and just plain queer people next door. People with families, steady jobs and a mind towards social change and political movements. The vibe was much less, “we came to party” and more, “we came to make a statement, celebrate, and be home to cook dinner and spend time with the ones we love.”

I wonder if the Seattle style might be more offensive to the more anti-gay people of our country. I can only suspect that it’s easier for some anti-gay people to pish-posh the gay boys of Chicago. Afterall, it’s a world that is so Id defined that it doesn’t command an introspection or empathic response, for perhaps these haters have no concept of celebrating there own sexual expression. I would think that LGBTQ people living and celebrating their lives in a way that was so similar to the stereotypical heterosexual standard might be more problematic. Marriage seeking? Church going? Child raising? Oh god, gay people are people too?!

I’m concerned about how this years Pride festivities will go. The move to Seattle Center for Pride upset many businesses, community groups and individuals who want to keep Pride in the neighborhood. This has spawned another parade and festival on Capitol Hill.

I’m thinking perhaps I’ll stay in the neighborhood this year, if only because I don’t want to be reminded of how far LGBTQ people have yet to go to be equally accepted by the wider world.

The Wedding and Things That Go With It

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The wedding went rather well, considering the downpour and other mishaps. It was great to have my Chicago friends in town and to have some Seattle friends present among the throngs of family.

Everyone got a commemorative umbrella! Thank goodness we brought those!

Here’s some shout outs to some of the products and services that made this all possible:
We had our after-party at Ivar’s Acres of Clams and at the end of it, served cupcakes from Cupcake Royale in Ballard. The rings were delivered and beautiful, thanks to Sumiche. Jon’s suit was thanks to the great help at Mario’s. My dress was thanks to Kate Kamphausen. Maggie at Scream in Capitol Hill did my hair. My nails and toes were done at FlowerPower near Greenlake. My necklace was made by Karazi, who I found in the Ballard Farmer’s Market. Finally, we stayed in the honeymoon suite at the Alexis Hotel. That was TRULY awesome. Not cheap, by any means, but a great getaway!

I can’t thank my friends Amy and Marta enough. They really helped pull things together.

So here’s a story for you. It’s about a very interesting woman named Nasreen. In the base of the Alexis Hotel is a perfume shop, Parfumerie Nasreen. I love perfume, Jon’s gotten into some men-smells himself, so after a stint in our jacuzzi at the hotel, we called down to see when they closed. The answer was 15 min, so we got dressed and headed down. This is where we met Nasreen, and her young assistant. Nasreen asked us how we were, what brought us to the Alexis, etc. We said that we had just gotten married… and then we were off. She told us how she had been married 28 yrs, and that the most important thing was to be friends… best friends. We said it had rained at the wedding, and she shared that it meant that it was nothing but clear weather for the rest of our lives. She asked what kind of fragrances I liked, I replied that I’d been wearing Stella and Pure Turquoise lately. She picked up Dorin’s Un Air de Paris, exclusive to her shop in the US, and sprayed some on my right arm. She then picked up Versace’s Crystal Noir, which she sprayed on my left arm. I gave them both a sniff, and was definitely at home with the Versace, but the Dorin had something classic about it. And it should, I think it’s based on a 19th century perfume recipe. 🙂 Meanwhile, Jon picked up some aftershave to match a fragrance I had gotten him last year(Pasha de Cartier). I said yes to the Un Air de Paris, and we started to pay for our stuff. She insisted on giving us a bunch of samples, which was wonderful. Then she stopped and said something to the effect of, “One more thing…” She reached and pulled a bottle of champagne out of nowhere. It was a bottle of (I think) Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label. She handed it to me and said, “You must drink this tonight. Don’t hold onto it for later.” She then told us to order room service, since Jimmy was cooking that night. She did not steer us wrong in the slightest. 🙂

Seriously random… AND WONDERFUL. Thanks Nasreen!

I’ve fielded a lot of questions with regards to the marriage, most often has been the question of whether or not I’m keeping my name. The answer is yes, and mostly because I like my name and feel it’s part of who I am and I’m reluctant to change that or wipe that away. And then there’s the practical answer, which is it’s a huge headache to change names on government and financial documents. So it just makes it easier in the end.

Though apparently confusing for a lot of people, esp. since I don’t want to be called Mrs.. I’ve always been a Ms.. Call it my feminist upbringing, my strongwill or hardheadedness. I don’t really mind. I didn’t feel I should be judged for my not being married, and I feel that I shouldn’t be judged for being married. My marital status has little do do with anything, and I don’t think it should be right there in some title, esp. when there are issues revolving around marriage and equality that are yet unresolved in the world, and yes this fine nation. So I am Ms. and I shall stay that way. This seems to raise some eyebrows, but then again, I’d hate to think I’d stop shaking things up just because I’m married.

I know that I will be called Mrs. HusbandsName and the like for the rest of my days, and for some I will politely correct and others (such as telemarketers) I will correct with a valiant glee.

All marriage stuff aside, my life has resumed back to where it was, if not sporadically interupted by a question regarding the wedding or how it feels to be married (answer: not a hell of a lot different.)

And with that, I think it’s time for a nap.

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Wedding Update

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In an effort to update more often, I’m posting a bit of a wedding update.
I hate planning weddings. Well, I hate planning my own. Very few things have worked out the way we originally envisioned. Luckily, though, we at least have a place to go after the wedding for good food, today we’re going to Cupcake Royale to secure cupcakage. As for meals w/ the fam… looks like we’re going to try for a big fam dinner on Wed, dinner w/ my fam on Thu and chill out w/ friends on Fri. We need to make reservations for Wed and Thu.

We have received the umbrellas for the wedding. I am hoping that they really aren’t necessary for next week, but I’m glad we have them if only as souviniers.

Marta has been helping to keep me sane this weekend. She’s a take-charge kind of woman, and I am so lucky to have her friendship, her tenacity, and on Wednesday, her additional presence. She will be assisting Amy , who has been laid up for 2 wks due to intense pain. Both of them will be arriving the same time, which is great, because hopefully they should still be in town before any of the relatives.

Speaking of Chicago folx, I am pleased that Fard and Danyell will be coming to Seattle this coming weekend!

I only wish that my other Chicago friends could come too. You know who you are. 🙂

The dress (made by Kate) will be coming w/ Marta and Amy . The rings, which are coming by way of Sumiche are due around Tuesday, I think. We have seen the waxes of them, and they should be gorgeous. The suit is due around Tuesday or Wednesday, and we’ll pick that up at the shop. The extra car keys so we don’t lose the one key we have are due to be ready by Thursday. My new glasses are due around Tuesday or Wednesday. I need to book a spa visit (at Habitude, if only to get my hands and feet exfoliated and mani/pedicured. I need to get my hair done (maybe I’ll do that today.) I need to find jewelry to go w/ my dress. Maybe flowers for my hair. And then we need to make the reservations for Wed and Thu night. Yikes. This is crazy. I can’t wait til we get to our honeymoon suite.

Family and friends are due in starting Wednesday.

The wedding is on Saturday.

And Monday, I’ll go into my workplace and say, “Hey, I need to change my status from Single to Married.”

And that is that.

I hope I’m not forgetting anything.

Requisite Update

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Whoa… no January post.. so I never gave the post family/Disney redux!! Quickly put, myself, Jon and his family went to Walt Disney World for Xmas and New Years. It was a hypnotically good time filled with occasional amazing meals at night, long lines for everything, tacky, sparkly things I just had to have and a barrel of joy that just had to be the drugs in the water. I came away dazed and rather horrified at how much TinkerBell stuff I had purchased. It’s not something I’d really want to do again any time soon, but really… it’s not that different from Burning Man.

Moving on…

I’ve been really busy with my new job. It’s quite a trip, I must say. Inside where I work, it’s hard to tell just who the crazy person is sometimes… or even more fun, who’s the person who has pending charges of rape, murder, etc, and who has the charges for public urination, unlawful improsnment, assault. We have it all. Violent, unmanaged tempers and docile, polite individuals. And then there are the patients!! hahahaha. Seriously though, it really is that varied. On my caseload, I have intolerant and hostile people that will call me the worst things you’ve ever heard, and polite, thankful people that will tell me that I’m too nice. Meanwhile, among my own class at the hospital, the psychiatric social workers, we’re fighting for recognition as a professional class, and the pay to go with it.

Ah, the politics of a state institution!

In other news, I’m officially getting married April 8. I have 2 friends in Chicago working on important aspects of the wedding, including making the dress and arranging the ceremony. Tomorrow I’ll be talking w/ them about details. I’ve also been in correspondence with people at www.sumiche.com about getting custom, ecologically sensitive rings made for Jon and I. This is going to hopefully be a simple, memorable occasion. We’re thinking of going to Cupcake Royale for a cupcake tasting for the wedding cake-ish thing.

In additional news, I’ve been having fun amassing a new wardrobe thanks to my new job. And also, before I forget it, I officially quit my employment w/ Babeland, which is sad, but wasn’t managable w/ the new job and hellish commute. Let’s see, what else should I write here?

My friend Damien will be moving into my building from Chicago in just a month or so. It’s very exciting. Welcome to Seattle, Damien!

That’s all for now. Thanks for watching. Spring is coming soon!!