Where I am outed as negative, with difficulty trusting people

Just to follow-up on my post yesterday about a budding comment-spammer, I thought I’d share with you what happened.

I received an email back – however, Traci, the alleged originator of this product – asserted that she HAD been getting my blog (though she cut-and-pasted a Google news alert for “maternity products” of which, you’ll find, I’ve only written ONE blog entry) and that her intentions were not to mass market, but rather, be helpful. I could cut and paste all that, but I’m lazy and will spare you. To say the least, this made me rather sad and concerned about her and her company’s future on TEH INTARWEBS. For while her intentions were good (according to her) I saw other similarities – here’s part of what I wrote back to her:

I cannot fault you, as a business woman, for wanting to increase your business and the awareness of others to your product. However, the method you have chosen is one used by many spammers to sell pornography, pharmaceuticals, face creams and more – and I assure you all of these spammers have tried to use comments in my blog (often times, completely non-sensical or nrelated) to sell their product…

You have put yourself in the same ranks as people who run very shady businesses. As that you responded to me personally, I can only hope that you are NOT one of those people, but rather someone else that is just trying to get a start on Internet commerce. My unsolicited advice to you is to choose another avenue. There are many options, like banner ads on sites relevant to your product, partnering with other maternity Internet retailers, or Google ads – which is quite popular with many people getting started out.

I guess my first mistake was trying to be “helpful.” In her initial responses, she created a portrait of a small business woman, just setting out in a horrible economy (embellishment mine), with a product she needed to advertise, and not a lot of great ideas on how to get this product to a wider audience. Instead of coming off as an evil spammer, she came off as naive – so I took a chance that maybe I could share some of my Patented AdviceTM to be helpful.

I pout pitifully now, as I share with you her response.

I will tell you again that you are incorrect in your assessment, but believe as you will. You must have much more time on your hands to write than I. I do not need to explain how I was recieving your blog…you just want to see it your way…so be it. I hope your life fills with positive energy , you need it.

I’m incorrect, but you won’t tell me HOW. Oh, wait, you don’t need to explain it to me. Nevermind. Uh oh, is she saying that I’m filled with negative energy? Hm. Maybe I should get an exorcism. (Uh oh, no really, this DOES sound negative. I’m being sarcastic! OMG OMG OMG!) Ok, I’ll stop that.

All I can do at this point, as to not continue this discussion that seems to be one sided…is to hope that you find an outlet for you advice and negativity. I truly am sorry that I bothered you…and wish I hadn’t brought on all this negativity into my own life. You apparently must have difficulty trusting or believing in others. I know my intentions were good….that is all that matters.

Well, Traci of BellyPod, they say that “the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” Even worse, I believe this is especially true for people who not just suspect, but KNOW that their intentions were good. Unfortunately (not to get too philisophical), even the concepts of good and bad are highly subjective. To reiterate, while I don’t fault a small business owner trying to get ahead in business, I do think that there are better ways than others to do that. I offered those suggestions to you – maybe so you wouldn’t make the same mistake of bothering another person who has “difficulty trusting” all the promises made on the Internet and uses their personal blog to dispense “advice.” As for the negativity – just as you see your intentions as good, I see my intentions as being at least helpful (though I wouldn’t say good.)

My simple point is this – to any legitimate business person on the Internet – don’t use the same method to sell your product as spammers who are trying to sell Viagra without a prescription. Unless you want your product to be thought of, and bought by, that same market, there are better ways to do it. Heck, I’m sure that even Amazon has some options for small businesses and their products. There are options, and I’m sorry if that seems negative – but you know, I have only good intentions.

A Note to those who wish to Advertise through Comments on Blogs

Good afternoon,

I have been receiving you blog info for a couple of weeks via Google news feeds and I wanted to congratulate you on your pregnancy and the journey you are taking as an expectant mother. I thought since you had a considerable following that I would try and network with a mom and share a product I have spent several years developing for expectant moms…the [redacted].

Wow, NETWORKING WITH A MOM. Uh. Dude. Not a mom. Yet. Also, very much against the Baby Industrial Complex and the Cult of Motherhood. (More exciting blogging on that later, perhaps.)

(Clipped, a lovely little creation story on how she came up with this AMAZING product.)

I hope you will take a look at the ultimate in comfort for expectant moms and will share my enthusiasm for this amazing product. I have included the website and I look forward to your feedback.

Kind regards,

[Redacted]

OMG – ULTIMATE comfort?! OMG OMG OMG. How could I say no?! I mean, she’s like, been reading my feed for the past who-knows-how-long and is now GRACING me with this helpful tip!

Hey, here’s some feedback from me:

Dear [Redacted],

After receiving a comment on my blog, which was so obviously not-personalized, but meant to capitalize on my blog entry regarding a product that was related to pregnancy, yet totally different from the product you offer, I can only say that I will be deliberately avoiding your product during my pregnancy.

I believe that exploiting searches, and people’s blogs to hawk your wares is not only cheap and lazy, but also offensive. The way you are doing it fakes a personalization, “I have been receiving you blog info for a couple of weeks via Google news feeds and I wanted to congratulate you on your pregnancy and the journey you are taking as an expectant mother.” I not believe you have been reading my blog all this time. Now, this is an assumption that I’m happy to be incorrect, so if you could tell me what it is about my blog that you came across that made you so interested as to add it to your reader, that would be fantastic.

Furthermore, I will be posting this response to you in a blog entry of my own, as a warning to other people who might choose to try to market their wares through comments on my blog. Sadly, I believe most of the comments are not done by human beings, but rather by robots, and that they could care less. Regardless of that, I figure it can’t hurt to let people know where I stand.

Any future comments made to my blog by your company, or any other, that are explicitly intended to redirect to another website for the sale of a product or service, will be either altered by me to obscure the site or the original poster, or be deleted entirely. None of these comments will even be seen publicly without my approval anyway. I have already altered such means to take care of other comments meant to sell other products.

I’m sure that advertising is expensive. My request is for you to stop using non-commercial blogs, unsolicited, as a way to gain more customers.

Thanks,

Laura

Personal Economy: Buy what you want/need, don’t buy it if you don’t like it.

Throughout my life I’ve gone through being a minimalist as far as the standard beauty products, and paying the mid-range, aspirational prices of department store counters. I’ve never been able to successfully toss aside my chains of oppression by the fashion and beauty industries, and my feelings between guilt and celebration have waxed and waned.

Oh boy, but now I’m looking at 31, and I’ve got a deep line across my forehead. I started a little mini-panic when I realized it wasn’t going away. I instantly thought, maybe I can get a cream that will arrest it, or make it go away – and maybe I wouldn’t have to spend $50 to do it! I saw a lot of reviews and a lot of promises, and I came to the conclusion that none of the claims could be trusted, and I couldn’t stomach $50+ for a face cream that wouldn’t ultimately do what I want it to do, which is permanently stop my face from creasing.

So what do I do? When I was in a Whole Foods in White Plains, NY, I found that they had my, to this point, most favorite face cleanser and cream ever. Why have I not been using it? Because I first bought it at a small store in Chicago, and couldn’t find it locally in Seattle. I thought to myself – it IS pricey, and couldn’t I find an alternative that was just as good? The answer, after about 3 years, was no. I purchased the Evan Healy Blue Face Care Kit, and have been happy ever since. Even Dr. Hauschka, which makes holistic skin care in the same vein as Evan Healy, doesn’t have all that I love about Evan Healy’s products.

The lesson learned is that, in the time I’ve played with all these other products (and used up most of them), the product I’ve been most enthusiastic about is one I could have bought online, and likely saved more time and money just by doing so than trying to find less expensive alternatives.

Evan Healy’s products don’t promise to do anything special, other than clean the skin, not strip it too much of the oils you need, and that it be allowed to breathe. It doesn’t promise to make these deep creases go away, but maybe they don’t need to. And maybe I go back to purchasing my favorite make up, Bare Escentuals Bare Minerals, which I keep going back to after trying cheaper or more flashy options.

None of these things are what I need – but it is just something I want and makes me feel good. The less I spend on other crap I truly don’t need, the better – esp. if that means I’m not trying out the new best thing and deciding I’m hating it.

Product Love: Aubrey Honeysuckle Rose Shampoo and Conditioner

My hair is brittle.

Why? I have a few ideas. I live in the Pacific Northwest, and like many of these northern dwellers, I’m deficient in Vitamin D – I’ve started supplementing, and even got a sunburn last week, so hopefully I’ll start life towards the solstice a little less deficient than last year. Additionally, I’ve been diving, in the cold waters of Puget Sound, which means that along with ravaging my hair with salt water, I’ve been wearing a hood to keep the heat in, and have a nice thick wetsuit to birth my head through before every dive. This, as you can imagine, tortures my hair.

And then there was my ill-thought out decision to try flat-ironing my hair a few months ago. So this, plus chemical processing, has left my hair in a less than enviable position. Pantene wasn’t quite helping, and frankly, I’ve been wanting to get back to my “less chemicals is better” trend I fell into when working at Whole Foods.

This enters my trial of Aubrey Organics – Honeysuckle Rose Shampoo, which claims to be 100% natural, and sure enough, the label doesn’t seem to cite anything chemically funny. The shampoo feels astringent, but the Aubrey Organics – Honeysuckle Rose Conditioner feels super-moisturizing, so much so that I’ve had to decrease the amount I thought I’d need for my hair. I’m a few weeks in, and I’m liking the smell as well as the texture of my hair. I also feel a little better about the suds washing down the drain.

I’m not sure how long I’ll love it, but I’m definitely a fan now. Who knew? I’d been passing up this stuff for years!

Black Love

I was going over my last.fm while trying to figure out what to listen to next. My top music picks are similar to what I was listening to 15 years ago, with some additions. One of those is the Afghan Whigs.

Growing up in the Cincinnati area, I knew who the Afghan Whigs were. They played them on local radio, and I heard they were pretty cool. I passed by the albums at the used cd store more than a few times, and I knew they were chocked full of latent awesomeness – and I had rocked out to “Honky’s Ladder” on the radio.

Despite my curiosity with the Whigs after I saw their CD’s easily available in Dublin, Ireland in 1996, it wasn’t until 1999 that I remembered that the Afghan Whigs were worth devotional listening. This I have Lev (of BoingBoing Gadgets fame) to thank. He and I made the long trek across country to Burning Man in 1999, and of course every good road trip requires good tunes. I got reminded of the awesomeness of the Whigs on that trip and became desperately hooked.

I’m still hooked to all things Dulli (Greg, that is). I’ve loved the Twilight Singers, his solo work, and his joint project w/ Mark Lanigan, The Gutter Twins.

Black Love – which I’m listening to now, is still one of my favorite Whigs albums. I feel a need to listen to it from start to finish, every song in order, as if there is some divine completeness to it. The first song, Crime Scene Part One is perfectly bookended by Faded. Love, violence, sex, drugs and alcohol with an intense reverence to classic R&B, funk and soul played – this is what I love about the Whigs, and Greg Dulli.

Just thought I’d share – because hey, it’s my blog, and I don’t write in this thing enough.