My Advice for the Dixie Chicks

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I like the Dixie Chicks. I’ve liked them since Wide Open Spaces and I’ve liked them ever since they got themselves into a whole mess w/ telling it the way they see it. It takes guts to stand up for yourself.

So it turns out they have a new album out. Yay for them. Even more interesting, they wrote or co-wrote all of the songs. They said in a recent NPR interview that it was because they wanted to address things more personal. Jon hypothesizes that perhaps no song-writer wanted to get near them after tons of radio stations boycotted their music. Anyhow, I find this to be a neato move, and I have one piece of advice for them–

Go Alt-Country. Seriously. I love the genre, and I think they could really transition over well. Even better, they can start their alt-country debut by doing a collaboration album with some alt-country favorites– Lucinda Williams, Steve Earl, etc. It would be groovy to have them singing with Gillian Welch. Or Neko Case. I think it could really be outstanding even to throw in some not-quite-alt-country but doing folky stuff Bruce Springsteen. An album of 10-12 songs collaborated, at least one or two where the Dixie Chicks take the lead and do most, if not all the work.

Call me crazy, but I’d so pay for this!

The Necessities for Travel (as a Femme)

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Who would have thought 5 yrs ago, with my bright blue hair, chopped off just an inch from my scalp and my newly decreed no-make-up face and shapeless tanks and t-shirts with jeans that I would transform from what an old friend termed a “diesel dyke” appearance to two years later, an all black wearing goth barista to now, a cutely coiffed, white and pink shirt with khaki pants wearing professional social worker.

Starting around the time I was 16 and taking trips w/ my mom to New Jersey/NYC every year, I decided that a smart girl in the city didn’t carry a purse. I started out with chain wallets and never wearing anything without pockets. Now my daily wear doesn’t include pockets, and I’ve had to adjust. Plus, even though some women’s pants are made with pockets, I assure you, they don’t mean for you to use them. So here I am, buying a wallet that’s too big for my pants pocket. And then a purse to contain that wallet. But then I’m traveling far, so I need a purse large enough to carry what I need. And then I’m spending $300 on a Coach bag. But it’s the perfect bag, in lavender and white and OH so cute.

And now I’m planning a few weekends out of town. One coming up in Chicago, and then one a month from now in LA. This means I need to upgrade my usual carry on, which is this ridiculously bulky Timberland backpack that got me through 2 yrs of grad school and then some. It’s not exactly made for a laptop, but it’s kind of worked for awhile. After looking over the OH so cute options at REI yesterday, my husband and I conferred and realized that a less cute, but dramatically handy TimBuk2 bag in coral. And then a small cute lavender bag.

I am taken aback by my need to accessorize in not only a utilitarian, but fashionable way. This costs money, because of course you want quality and usefulness, not to mention something you want to be seen with. That can be pricey, but in the end it’s cheaper than buying something you hate for cheap, and later by something that you kinda hate less, and then going back and getting exactly what you wanted/needed in the first place.

With my new accessories, I can only hope that my friends in Chicago will recognize me, bright happy pink femme and all.

Preparing for Pride

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Next month is June, which means that Pride and all the celebratory festivities that come with it, are coming fast. This year, the Seattle Pride parade and festivities have been moved from the Capitol Hill neighborhood (the center of Seattle’s gay community) to downtown and ultimately, Seattle Center. This means a lot more visibility for the parade (and the issues accompanying the parade), and I suspect more protestors given that the festivities will be on less traditionally friendly teritory.

It’s great to think that this will enhance visibility. Seattle is a pretty small town, after all. It’s not the size of Chicago, where I went to many a parade. As liberal as the Left Coast might be, the small-townishness is pretty evident, and the liberal vs. not is a bit more apparent. Maybe this is because in Chicago, the parade (and the neighborhood the parade is in) is focused on the young, beautiful gay boys and their loud stereotypical music hanging out at their lush and loud stereotypical bars/clubs. I’m not saying this isn’t great, but it smacks of a bit of out-and-proud counter-cultureness that taunts the urbane sensibilities of both the cosmopolitan and blue collar Democratic Chicagoan. The colors and attitude of Chicago Pride scream every color of the rainbow in revelrie in honor of the single, available, virile, hunky 20-something gay man. This is not to say that other aspects of the LGBTQ community aren’t there, but the vibe very much focuses on the former.

Last year I wandered out of my house with a couple of friends to take part in Seattle’s festivities. The whole thing was much less a revelrie in the young, virile gay man, but more a revelrie in the kinky (straight and queer), and just plain queer people next door. People with families, steady jobs and a mind towards social change and political movements. The vibe was much less, “we came to party” and more, “we came to make a statement, celebrate, and be home to cook dinner and spend time with the ones we love.”

I wonder if the Seattle style might be more offensive to the more anti-gay people of our country. I can only suspect that it’s easier for some anti-gay people to pish-posh the gay boys of Chicago. Afterall, it’s a world that is so Id defined that it doesn’t command an introspection or empathic response, for perhaps these haters have no concept of celebrating there own sexual expression. I would think that LGBTQ people living and celebrating their lives in a way that was so similar to the stereotypical heterosexual standard might be more problematic. Marriage seeking? Church going? Child raising? Oh god, gay people are people too?!

I’m concerned about how this years Pride festivities will go. The move to Seattle Center for Pride upset many businesses, community groups and individuals who want to keep Pride in the neighborhood. This has spawned another parade and festival on Capitol Hill.

I’m thinking perhaps I’ll stay in the neighborhood this year, if only because I don’t want to be reminded of how far LGBTQ people have yet to go to be equally accepted by the wider world.

Realization: Goodfellas and Boogie Nights

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I just saw GoodFellas for the first time last night. It turns out, after having seen Boogie Nights just a few months ago, that I really think that Goodfellas and Boogie Nights are the same movie. They start w/ the main character as a teenager, getting involved in seedy business, moving on into the big leagues, seeing what happens to their friends and compatriots around them, there’s guns, drugs (and some moralistic overtones) and we follow it straight through to the 1980’s.

This begs for a double feature.

The Wedding and Things That Go With It

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The wedding went rather well, considering the downpour and other mishaps. It was great to have my Chicago friends in town and to have some Seattle friends present among the throngs of family.

Everyone got a commemorative umbrella! Thank goodness we brought those!

Here’s some shout outs to some of the products and services that made this all possible:
We had our after-party at Ivar’s Acres of Clams and at the end of it, served cupcakes from Cupcake Royale in Ballard. The rings were delivered and beautiful, thanks to Sumiche. Jon’s suit was thanks to the great help at Mario’s. My dress was thanks to Kate Kamphausen. Maggie at Scream in Capitol Hill did my hair. My nails and toes were done at FlowerPower near Greenlake. My necklace was made by Karazi, who I found in the Ballard Farmer’s Market. Finally, we stayed in the honeymoon suite at the Alexis Hotel. That was TRULY awesome. Not cheap, by any means, but a great getaway!

I can’t thank my friends Amy and Marta enough. They really helped pull things together.

So here’s a story for you. It’s about a very interesting woman named Nasreen. In the base of the Alexis Hotel is a perfume shop, Parfumerie Nasreen. I love perfume, Jon’s gotten into some men-smells himself, so after a stint in our jacuzzi at the hotel, we called down to see when they closed. The answer was 15 min, so we got dressed and headed down. This is where we met Nasreen, and her young assistant. Nasreen asked us how we were, what brought us to the Alexis, etc. We said that we had just gotten married… and then we were off. She told us how she had been married 28 yrs, and that the most important thing was to be friends… best friends. We said it had rained at the wedding, and she shared that it meant that it was nothing but clear weather for the rest of our lives. She asked what kind of fragrances I liked, I replied that I’d been wearing Stella and Pure Turquoise lately. She picked up Dorin’s Un Air de Paris, exclusive to her shop in the US, and sprayed some on my right arm. She then picked up Versace’s Crystal Noir, which she sprayed on my left arm. I gave them both a sniff, and was definitely at home with the Versace, but the Dorin had something classic about it. And it should, I think it’s based on a 19th century perfume recipe. 🙂 Meanwhile, Jon picked up some aftershave to match a fragrance I had gotten him last year(Pasha de Cartier). I said yes to the Un Air de Paris, and we started to pay for our stuff. She insisted on giving us a bunch of samples, which was wonderful. Then she stopped and said something to the effect of, “One more thing…” She reached and pulled a bottle of champagne out of nowhere. It was a bottle of (I think) Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label. She handed it to me and said, “You must drink this tonight. Don’t hold onto it for later.” She then told us to order room service, since Jimmy was cooking that night. She did not steer us wrong in the slightest. 🙂

Seriously random… AND WONDERFUL. Thanks Nasreen!

I’ve fielded a lot of questions with regards to the marriage, most often has been the question of whether or not I’m keeping my name. The answer is yes, and mostly because I like my name and feel it’s part of who I am and I’m reluctant to change that or wipe that away. And then there’s the practical answer, which is it’s a huge headache to change names on government and financial documents. So it just makes it easier in the end.

Though apparently confusing for a lot of people, esp. since I don’t want to be called Mrs.. I’ve always been a Ms.. Call it my feminist upbringing, my strongwill or hardheadedness. I don’t really mind. I didn’t feel I should be judged for my not being married, and I feel that I shouldn’t be judged for being married. My marital status has little do do with anything, and I don’t think it should be right there in some title, esp. when there are issues revolving around marriage and equality that are yet unresolved in the world, and yes this fine nation. So I am Ms. and I shall stay that way. This seems to raise some eyebrows, but then again, I’d hate to think I’d stop shaking things up just because I’m married.

I know that I will be called Mrs. HusbandsName and the like for the rest of my days, and for some I will politely correct and others (such as telemarketers) I will correct with a valiant glee.

All marriage stuff aside, my life has resumed back to where it was, if not sporadically interupted by a question regarding the wedding or how it feels to be married (answer: not a hell of a lot different.)

And with that, I think it’s time for a nap.

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